Well hello, lots of catching up to do in this post! Actually, so much time has passed that I
don’t really feel like writing everything that I might have if I had written as
things happened. You might be in luck
with a short post? Haha. Who am I kidding? Ok, a shortER post. ;-)
Anyway, I returned to Flagstaff in December after that
climbing trip in Joshua Tree (What trip? See “Reflections on... Life in SouthCarolina (Part 1)”), and moved into an apartment with a handful of other
20-somethings. For a couple of weeks I
didn’t have much to do besides settle into my new room, read books, do creative
projects like beading, and check out whatever entertainment the roommates were
providing in the living room (like having the TV on while someone is playing a
video game, someone else is painting nails, and at least two separate text
conversations are happening). Oh, and
try not to dwell on my recent turn of events (If you missed it, read “Reflections on... Life in South Carolina (Part 2)”). Eventually, though, the spring semester
started. Fortunately, the way my classes
were scheduled, I was able to just focus on two at a time, which meant they
moved at a quick pace, but I didn’t have my attention divided in too many
directions.
I also picked up shifts now & then at Starbucks, and
then later in the semester officially transferred into the Flagstaff store
& got put on the schedule. I also
applied, was hired & trained as a Rescue Guide for the brand new FlagstaffExtreme Adventure Course! We trained in
February & then spent March, April & part of May getting comfortable
with the course, practicing our skills, getting all the little detail things
settled out, and training our Safety Patrollers. Now, finally, at the time of my writing this,
we ARE open! J It’s pretty awesome, and now that summer has
arrived and we’re running 7 days a week, I’ll be working lots of hours there. I expect that between the two jobs, my summer
is going to be packed with work. My only
break will be the Sabbath & some buffer time on either side of it. (Insert: Thank you, God, for giving us the
Sabbath, because otherwise I’d probably work straight through that, too!)
Ok, so you knew it was coming… The rest of the story about difficult
goodbyes and all that.
After Ethan & I parted ways in December, he headed to
his Wilderness EMT course, and I came to Flagstaff. At first we didn’t communicate much, but then
after a couple of weeks we started just checking in with each other, seeing how
things were going. He successfully
completed & certified (congratulations!!) in early February. He and a guy he met at the course decided to
do a mountaineering trip before leaving CA, & then hit the road for a
cross-country drive to get home. On the
way, they stopped in Flagstaff so I could take them to the Grand Canyon. This was something like 6 weeks after our
J-Tree “goodbye,” and we had been trying to move on, but being around each
other again, even on a short visit, brought all kinds of thoughts & feelings back to the surface. With his new
friend there we didn’t really talk much about it at the time or in person, but
it was apparent we needed to talk. Enter
“difficult goodbye #2,” in about-to-fly-to-Chile-for-3-months style. Since Ethan wasn’t moving to Flagstaff, he
was completely open on what he could do after the WEMT course, and took an
awesome opportunity to go work on a farm in Chile with his best friend. I was honestly 200% excited for him/them, but
the hard part was the matter of timing.
Right when his recent visit caused us to acknowledge that we really
needed to talk about some things, he was leaving to be in South America, with
no cell phone, limited internet, and who-knows-what-to-expect mail
service. We emailed some before he left,
but I was hoping for a good, open, productive phone conversation. The closest to that we got, though, was a
pick-&-choose-what-to-say conversation while he was in the airport between
flights. L Thus, my intro to the last post. As it turned out, internet access was a
little more available than we initially anticipated, so that helped ease the after-effects
of “difficult goodbye #2,” because we got to continue discussing things that I
had felt were left unfinished before.
Fast-forward summary of things since then: We’ve stayed in
touch, although at varying levels from time to time. He’s back in the States & about to hit
the road again for his summer job in California (something about that place is
a magnet for him, haha). I’ve tried to
be ok with letting go of the relationship and settle into a friendship, but my
heart’s not there yet. Six months after
breaking up, I still wonder what God’s will is in this aspect of my life.
Lest I leave this post on a down note… In the spirit of trying to dance wherever
this brook flows (see my very first post), I have recently taken advantage of
some fun opportunities. My
Couch-Surfer-turned-real-life-friend from New Zealand had a chance to fly to
the States, & wanted to go to Mexico.
It worked out that I was going to California to see some friends of mine
anyway, so we combined trips! I got to
see old friends again, got to have my first Mexico adventure (short as it was,
only being able to go for a day because I had to get back to Flagstaff to
work), drove many miles & much of it at night, slept in a tent on the side
of a desert road, went dancing downtown til 2am (I know, if you know me, you’re
shocked!), & simply enjoyed all-around good company & conversation with
a great friend. J (We’ll just overlook how often Ethan came up
in conversation or memory, haha.)
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| The guys at the Grand Canyon (the non-cardiac-arrest version). |
| “Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.” | |
